Dear Rejectors:
Specifically I'm talking to the last two of you. This seems to be the only way I can talk to you, since you won't show me the same courtesy...
To maintain peace I've "reasonably" kept to myself over the years, as no one else wanted to hear it, either...you have no idea. But in doing so I've failed to acknowledge the truth:
I am angry. I'm angry because you rejected me. I'm angry because you ignored my apologies. I'm angry because in addition to not wanting to be bothered with me, you chose to make me feel like shit, like I'm subhuman, like I exist solely to waste space. One thing I'd often wondered about myself is whether God created me as a spacesaver for someone more worthy, and if I'd die when they came along. I blame you for this. I shouldn't but I do. It's easier.
Do you have any idea how I feel right now? I'm 30, no significant other, seemingly no prospects, a college degree I can't use because I'm not confident enough, because assholes like you made me feel like I was nothing, like I was a pathetic loser. Well...I hope you're satisfied. Turns out I just might be the loser you always knew I could be...
Okay, seriously--I am pissed off...and considering that my experiences with the opposite sex have sucked phenomenally over the years, I feel my anger is justified. But it's not really your fault. My personal frustration has nothing to do with you. Still, since you did still play some kind of role in the way I felt about myself and the way I feel about men, I'm not sure that I should apologize.
To the first one: A friend of mine has told me about your recent marriage and baby. I don't know if your wife's already given birth or not, and it's none of my business. I would be courteous and say Happy Father's Day, but you wouldn't want that, so...anyway, I suppose you have a justifiable reason to think I'm trying to wreck your home after 12 years of no contact (a third party can't wreck a home anyway). So I guess I'll shut up and try to be happy for you.
To the second one: I don't know how you feel about black people, whether that comment you made on Facebook was really a reflection of how you feel or you were just being a jackass. I hope you see people as people, like me, and that you're not really the "playa" you're making yourself look like...being a man-slut is not cool. Anyway, I suppose ignoring women is how you deal with the ones who aren't hot enough to grace your precious friends list. So I guess I can't argue with your logic. Oh, yeah--just so you know, 31 is not the new 21.
That being said, May God Bless You Both, in spite of yourselves. You'll never see this post, I know, and there will be several people on Facebook who will wonder what the hell is wrong with me, but I needed to get this out.
Sincerely,
The Crazy Bitch From High School, aka The Black Chick From Video I Who Was Easy To Forget.
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