Recently I heard some seemingly disturbing news about one of my all-time favorite artists, Alicia Keys--that she was pregnant and engaged. The disturbing part is that the man she will soon marry and have this child with was married, and that it had been going on for two years.
What I understand from the whole situation is this: She is engaged to Swizz Beatz (whoever he is) and they are having a child; oh, but it just so happens that while they were together, he was separated from his estranged wife, Mashonda, with whom he had one child (he had a son from a previous relationship). In a lot of people's views, since it was a separation, that pretty much cancels out any wrongdoing on part of either Swizz or Alicia. But many still feel that the marriage still mattered and that during separation, Swizz should have pretty much tweedled his thumbs, as many were so sure Mashonda was doing (that is bullshit).
When I first heard the news, I was extremely disheartened--I'll be honest, people, I had a fucking conniption. I was like, how could she? How could she sacrifice integrity and tarnish her image? How could she dishonor herself like that?!...
Notice how I was angry about what Alicia did to herself, not to Swizz and Mashonda's marriage. And that's exactly how I felt--I felt that Alicia had made a dishonorable decision and that her relationship with Swizz would poison her in the long run. Swizz destroyed his own marriage, if anything, but knowing how human morality works, Alicia will take 98% of the blame (i.e. being threatened with death and called every name but a child of God).
I've cooled off a little since then and have opened my eyes a bit. I've looked a little more into it and realized it's not all black and white. There are some holes in these stories. It also comforts me that most people are still on Alicia's side and wish her nothing but the best. And so do I.
Alicia is no more and no less than one of the best musicians of all time. She's right up there with Luther, Stevie, and Michael. A musical genius. But now I fear she's more likely to be paired with the likes of Rielle Hunter, Monica Lewinsky, and Marilyn Monroe--all because of Swizz Beatz!
(Of course, Rielle, Monica, and Marilyn all slept with politicians; Swizz is not a politician, but like John Edwards, Bill Clinton, and John F. Kennedy, he was married--therein lies the connection. You know what? I actually wouldn't put it past some fool to accuse Alicia of sleeping with Barack Obama!)
I think that Alicia is just another unfortunate casualty in the "infidelity witch hunt" of 2010--that's right, I said it. There's a witch hunt goin' on. Americans are hearing about all kinds of infidelity these days--from Tiger Woods's many paramours to Eliot Spitzers call girls, to Mark Sanford's Argentinian fling, to Jesse James's excessively-tattooed lover. And now we can officially add Swizz Beatz to this list of cheaters.
These men are undoubtedly getting their share of bad press, but I think that the real targets here are the women--hence the witch hunt. Think about it--when the whole thing about Bill Clinton came out, who got the worse rap? Monica did! And so it is with Alicia Keys--I hear 10 times worse about her than I do about Swizz. No one's calling him a homewrecker, a whore, or a skank. No one's accusing him of being selfish and heartless. And no one's accusing him of causing two children to go hungry (trust me, Swizz and Mashonda's kids are likely well-fed and do not want for anything)...tragic. Simply tragic!
First of all, since critics are so keen on calling Alicia names because it makes them feel better, allow me to give the definition of a few of these terms:
1) whore – noun
a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.
In other words, this:
not this:
2) skank – noun
n. an ugly (young) woman. (Collegiate.) : What a skank she is! Give her a comb or something.
This is a skank:
This is Alicia:
3) slut – noun
1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
Alicia's not dirty, nor is she slovenly. But I think this is the definition everyone's looking for:
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.
Again, we come back to prositutes, one of which Alicia is not. And in there are more ways to be immoral than sleeping around. Just ask any serial killer or corrupt Wall Street CEO. Anyway, to qualify as a slut, you have to be with many people. Alicia is only with one person. Therefore, she is not a slut.
In other words, Alicia is none of these things, so stop calling her that.
Second, I'm giving my take on the infidelity issue. A woman cannot "steal" another woman's husband. All that crap about it being "in a man's nature" to cheat and men not being able to help themselves is BULLSHIT. When a man cheats on his wife, he is making his own conscious decision to do so and knows exactly what he's doing, from beginning to end. Same thing when it's a woman: no man can "steal" another man's wife. She chose to go.
A "homewrecker," in my honest opinion, is someone who comes by your house with a demolition ball and knocks the house down. Did Alicia drive any demolition vehicles lately? No!
If you dare say anyone "wrecks a home," it's the person who's cheating on their spouse. Actually, it can be either spouse who "wrecks the home"--if one person is cheating, then the home was already wrecked long before the other woman/other man made an appearance.
Third, here's my final opinion on this whole controversy. I still think Alicia is a good person. The only truly evil people are people who are hellbent on destroying others and get pleasure out of it. Alicia gets pleasure from entertaining and helping those less fortunate. While people in her own country were so damn busy dogging her, what was she doing? Taking a pilgrimage to Africa and helping homeless people and children with AIDS, and performing at the World Cup.
Personally, I don't think she should marry Swizz because I think that none of this "homewrecker" nonsense is going to fade until she leaves him. All he's doing is bringing her down. If she doesn't leave him, not only will she suffer, but in the long run, her child will suffer as well, due to her legacy and the undeserved reputation she's now been given.
I don't know much about Mashonda (whoever this chick is), but something tells me her whole side is off. I just get this feeling that she's fake and phony. I have heard some things about her (for instance, she mistreated Swizz's eldest son), and judging from what I've heard, there's something not right about her. I might be wrong, but only time can tell.
Those of you who wish to continue supporting the "Poor Mashonda" movement: if you are sincere in your convictions, more power to you. Stand up for what you believe in, I always say. We can agree to disagree. I'm just giving my opinion, is all. Take it as you wish.
