I remember I was in the lunchroom of my high school, and I think my brothers and sisters were there, too. I was trying to talk to my then-crush--the guy who wanted nothing to do with me. I don't remember what I was talking about exactly, but I think part of it was how he felt about me. Then he started going off on me, telling me to "go away" and that he didn't like me. Frantic, I kept asking him why he was being like that and why he didn't want to talk to me, but all he'd say was, "Go away" and "Leave me alone" and "I don't like you." Eventually, he left. I began ranting to my siblings about what he said, but my voice was straining, I was out of breath, and I found it difficult to get the words out.
The dream took place in 2008, oddly enough. I remember saying--or at least trying to say--that the guy "is 27 years old and should know better." (He's a year older than me, so yeah, that's how old he'll be this coming May.)
This is one of many dreams I've had over a period of years, where I was having something said or done to me that was out of line, and I tried to say something in defense, but had great difficulty doing so.
I think that maybe it's my subconscious mind's way of letting me know that I have a real problem speaking up for myself, and that I need to be more assertive. Lately, I have been working on that, in steps. But I know I have a long way to go. I've gone for many years holding things in and letting other people speak for me. I know that's got to stop. I'm living on my own now, so I don't even have my older sister there to save me anymore.
